Fenwick


Fenwick Q. Limpnicky is the owner and C.E.O. of twenty Fortune 500 companies. He owns over150 patents and 65 copyrights. His net worth is in excess of 70 billion dollars, three fourths of which is donated to philanthropic organizations. All of this in spite of the fact that he sleeps 18 hours out of 24. Fenwick would say “because of” instead of “in spite of” because he believes the most creative moments of life take place while our body is asleep. He agrees with scientists who estimate we only use 10% of our brain but he claims this applies only to the state commonly called “awake”. Fenwick seems to access the other dormant 90% in sleep using specialized consciousness techniques akin to lucid dreaming. Fenwick perceives the entire universe, material or otherwise, literally made of nothing but ideas and he has developed a way of tapping into this infinite reservoir in his “conscious” sleep. He promptly goes to sleep at midnight and promptly awakes at 6 a.m., fully alert. He bathes and tends to bodily necessities. He then quickly dictates individual instructions to each of his awaiting staff of 100. These are his emissaries for carrying out the enlightened ideas and projects he has gleaned from slumber. He then eats his one macrobiotic meal from 9:00 p.m. to 9:30 p.m. He spends the remaining 2 ½ hours writing and corresponding at his computer. Fenwick promises to deliver the solution to world hunger, global warming, and world peace shortly. He acknowledges his major inspirations as Swami Roodybigonia (who he studied meditation under for 19 years) and his cat Phineas, who he claims is the true master of productive slumber.


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